


Use Me Up

by sylviasplath



Series: Lessons on Revenge [1]
Category: The Following
Genre: Angst, Dubious Consent, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-27
Updated: 2014-03-27
Packaged: 2018-01-17 05:36:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,596
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1375771
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sylviasplath/pseuds/sylviasplath
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Picks up immediately following S2 Ep 8. Ryan says the wrong thing. Mike tries to teach him a lesson.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Use Me Up

“Okay. We’ll just sit here.”

They sat together in silence, Mike in the chair and Max on the couch. Time almost seemed to stop.

As Mike looked at Max on the couch, he thought about her attempts to connect with him. He appreciated them. He really did. But as much as she tried, as much as she thought she understood, there was just no way. Max saw their similarities so clearly but couldn’t fathom their differences.

Mike couldn’t get the image out of his head. It was like the tape kept replaying over and over again – the dread that he had felt when he had recognized that Lily Gray was in his father’s house, the horror that he had felt when he had watched Lily Gray’s psycho kid slit his father’s throat. Mike felt raw and nearly insurmountable grief – but the rage that he felt trumped them all.

Inevitably Max had to leave. She had her own place and Ryan only had the one sofa. And when she left Mike was flooded with relief. He might be a ticking time bomb but he didn’t need Max to watch the clock tick down to zero.

Mike got up from the chair and made his way into the kitchen. His body felt heavy and unnatural. He opened the refrigerator and grabbed a bottle of water, closing the fridge door and meandering over to the dining room table. He pulled a chair out and sat in it while opening the water bottle and taking a swig. The light in the room was harshly bright considering how late it was.

“Hey, did Max leave?”

Mike started. He had almost forgotten that Ryan was still awake. He watched Ryan stride into the kitchen and start rummaging through the fridge as he answered him.

“Yeah, she just left,” Mike replied monotonously.

Ryan pulled his head out of the fridge to glance over at Mike. He was gazing blankly at the table in front of him. Ryan decided to give up his search for a late-night snack and join Mike in the dining room.

For a few moments Ryan just sat. He wasn’t sure what to say. ‘How are you?’ seemed trivial and hollow considering recent events. Besides, Ryan already knew the answer to that question. But then Mike broke the silence instead.

“Ryan, I’m not in the mood for another lecture. I’m going to do this with or without your help. So stop trying to talk me out of it.” Mike’s voice sounded tired and edgy.

Ryan studied Mike, who was continuing to watch the table as if it were going to suddenly get up and walk away. Ryan had already begrudgingly accepted the fact that Mike wasn’t going anywhere. He was certainly grateful – after all, if it weren’t for Mike, he and Carrie would have ended up as a psycho’s science project. But he couldn’t shake the hesitancy and the fear. The last thing that he wanted was for Mike to end up like him – angry and obsessed and _alone_.

Mike might have evaded the Hardy Death Curse more times than anyone else. But Ryan was afraid that his friend would trade the curse for something else – he was afraid that Mike would become him. That he would use his rage in the quest for revenge and when there was no one else left standing, Mike wouldn’t be able to live with himself and his actions.

Suddenly Ryan knew what he had to say to the kid and he was fairly certain that Mike didn’t want to hear it. But he needed to hear it. And Ryan would just have to deal with the consequences.

“You know, when my dad got gunned down in that convenience store, I felt so guilty for letting his killer get away. Which is stupid, I was just a kid.” Mike finally looked up from the table to glance at Ryan. “I wouldn’t have been able to help anyway and I probably would’ve gotten killed too,” Ryan continued, looking at the floor as he spoke. “But you know me and guilt.” Ryan flashed Mike a tight smile and then shook his head. “As I watched him die, right there in front of me, that was the moment… the very first moment… that I felt this… _anger_. I wanted to find the man that had murdered my father. And I wanted the satisfaction of killing him myself.”

“Ryan, you were grieving,” Mike replied quietly. He tried to catch Ryan’s eye but the older man avoided his gaze.

“Yeah. But you’re not supposed to act on that grief.” Ryan paused before continuing. “See, I took my dad’s gun. And I started searching for this guy. I checked out every drug den, I followed up on every tip.”

“The police found him three days later,” Mike murmured, eyeing Ryan warily. He had heard this tale before but there was something in Ryan’s voice that made Mike think that Ryan hadn’t told Joe the whole story.

“Yeah, they did. But that was after I held a gun to his head and forced him to overdose so that it killed him.”

The silence in the room was deafening. Mike could only stare at Ryan, who had finally met his gaze.

“Mike, I don’t want you to make the same mistakes that I did. At the end of this, I want you to be able to look at yourself in the mirror.”

Mike continued staring at Ryan for a few more seconds before he pushed himself back from the table, beginning to move agitatedly about the room.

“Ryan, I’m sorry about your dad,” Mike replied heatedly. “But this is not the same situation. Now we’ve been through this. We are going to find Joe Carroll and we are going to find Lily Gray. And when we find Joe Carroll, I’m not going to stand in your way. And you need to have enough respect for me to do the same when we find Lily Gray.”

“Listen, Mike –“

“No, Ryan, you listen. I told you that I am done with your lectures. And if you keep pushing me –“

Mike broke off before he could finish, coming to a stop directly in front of Ryan. The older man looked up at Mike and could see the wild rage in his eyes. He looked like he was about to snap. As Ryan watched a mix of emotions play across the younger man’s face, he heard Mike’s voice echo through his head.

_“I’ve had some problems with my friends, my family. I don’t respond to normal situations… appropriately.”_

Ryan could see that Mike was teetering on the edge. If he said the wrong thing, Mike would fall over it and he wasn’t sure if he would be able to pull him back up.

“Mike,” Ryan began carefully, standing up from his seat. He spread his hands in a gesture of surrender. “I’m sorry about the lectures. I’m just worried about you.” Mike’s expression remained unchanged so Ryan continued in a new direction. “You’re right, Mike. When we find Lily Gray, I won’t stand in your way.”

Ryan watched as some of the tension seemed to leave Mike’s body. Encouraged, Ryan continued.

“I just don’t want you to do something that you can’t live with,” Ryan said. He hesitated before finishing. “I don’t want you to do something that your dad wouldn’t be proud of.”

Ryan knew that was the wrong thing to say when Mike’s fist came flying at his face. He blocked the punch but saw that Mike was gearing up for another.

“Mike, stop! I don’t want to hurt you.” Ryan attempted to reason with Mike as he dodged the next blow. He readied himself to block the next one, but it never came. Instead, Ryan felt himself slammed against the wall with the wind knocked out of him.

“No, Ryan. I don’t want to hurt you,” Mike replied harshly, as Ryan saw and then felt Mike’s lips descend on his own. Ryan froze at first and then attempted to struggle out of Mike’s grip on his shoulders. But Mike used his slight height and better positioning over Ryan to his advantage and pressed him even harder into the wall while forcing his way into Ryan’s mouth. After a few seconds, Ryan relaxed into the kiss, allowing Mike to plunder his mouth.

“You see, Ryan? That wasn’t so hard, now was it?” Mike asked darkly as he pulled away from Ryan’s mouth.

It took Ryan a few seconds to breathlessly respond, “What?”

“You gave up control. For about two seconds, but it’s a start. That seems to be a huge problem for you, Ryan. You think that you can control everything, but you can’t. That’s okay though. It’s a lesson I don’t mind teaching.”

Ryan was turned to face the wall before he knew what was happening. His body was thrumming with adrenaline – he had never seen Mike this callous before and the juxtaposition between that and the chipper young man that he met a year ago was chilling. It was as if Mike had finally broken. _Lily Gray did that_ , he thought to himself. And then – _It was my fault that he was even involved in the first place._ Ryan’s guilt resurfaced and threatened to swallow him whole. And the only way that he knew how to atone was to let Mike consume him.

Ryan placed his hands on the wall in front of him as Mike reached around Ryan to unbuckle his belt and undo his pants. Mike yanked the older man’s pants and boxers down his thighs and then moved a hand to Ryan’s half-hard cock and began to move his hand in lazy strokes. His other hand gripped at Ryan’s hip, holding the older man in place.

With his hands occupied, Mike brought his mouth to Ryan’s neck and started roughly kissing and nipping at his skin. He let his mouth wander, moving up Ryan’s neck until eventually his tongue started to fully explore Ryan’s ear.

As Ryan began to get harder in his hand Mike murmured against his skin, “There it is, Ryan. I knew you’d become an active participant sooner or later.”

Ryan couldn’t help himself. “Fuck you, Mike,” he spat. He was willing to surrender his body but he wasn’t going to allow Mike to humiliate him.

Mike let out a bitter laugh. “Oh no, Ryan. Fuck _you_.”

And as he said it, Mike released Ryan’s cock and moved his hand up to his own mouth. He sucked his middle finger into his mouth before reaching down to press it against Ryan’s hole. Ryan’s body instinctually retreated from the intrusion but Mike’s finger followed until it had pushed past the clenching muscles of Ryan’s ass. Ryan hissed in pain.

“Oh, come on, Hardy. Don’t tell me you can’t take it,” Mike mocked as he started to fuck Ryan with his finger. But Ryan was too intent on getting used to Mike’s finger to respond. He was sure that it would be followed by something much bigger and he wanted to be prepared.

Mike added another finger and began to scissor them inside of Ryan, causing the older man to sharply inhale. Mike let out a soft laugh before quipping, “Well, well. _The_ Ryan Hardy, finally reduced to speechlessness.”

“Just do it, Mike,” Ryan breathed against the wall. He didn’t think that he could take much more of this.

“Ryan, you’re not minding the lesson.” Mike punctuated his words with deep thrusts of his fingers inside of Ryan, who started to let out soft moans in time with Mike’s thrusts.

“Sorry. I mean, you’re right. You’re in control, Mike.” Ryan had started to babble at this point. He felt like he would fly apart.

“That’s right, Ryan. You’re not in control anymore.”

And with that, Mike suddenly pulled his fingers out of Ryan. As he unbuckled his belt he heard Ryan whisper, “Please, Mike.”

Mike pulled his cock out of his pants and spit on his hand a few times before he stroked himself to full hardness. It was only then that he replied softly, “Begging suits you, Ryan. Keep going.”

It was like the floodgates had been opened. Ryan begged until he ran out of breath and then he took another breath and kept right on going. “Please. Please, Mike. Fuck me. Mike, please.”

“You’re doing so good, Ryan,” Mike whispered as he continued stroking himself. “Now tell me what you need.”

“I need you to fuck me. Mike, please,” Ryan pleaded raggedly. He balled his hands into fists and banged them on the wall in frustration, bending over to emphasize his plea.

Mike chuckled as he stopped stroking himself and grasped his cock. As he plunged into Ryan he muttered, “Ask and ye shall receive.”

Ryan felt like he was being split in two. The pain was incredible and as Mike pulled out of him he thought he was going to pass out. He vaguely felt Mike pull his hips toward him as he drove into him again and then again. Just when Ryan thought that he wouldn’t be able to take anymore – _oh_.

Pleasure seeped into every part of him as Mike thrust just _so_ and hit his prostate. Ryan moaned loudly, “Mike, yes. Right there, please.”

Mike obliged and angled his thrusts toward the same spot. At the same time, he reached around to grab Ryan’s cock and began stroking him in time with his thrusts.

“Come on, Ryan. I know that you’re close.” He heard Ryan let out a whimper. “Come for me.”

The whole situation was overwhelming and wrong and _hot_ and it was just the way that Mike said it. Ryan couldn’t help but obey. He moaned harshly as he came into Mike’s hand.

Mike drove into Ryan a few more times before he came with a grunt, thrusts slowing until he was spent. He pulled out of Ryan, causing both men to gasp.

They stood in place, breathing heavily, each man eventually reaching down to pull up pants and buckle belts. As the seconds passed, Ryan could feel the tension in the room building. He turned to look at Mike and as he did, he could see a tear roll down the younger man’s face. Mike caught his eye before he quickly turned from Ryan, moving away from him.

“Mike –“ Ryan started toward Mike, grabbing at his arm to keep him from walking away. Mike shook his arm away violently.

“Get off me!” Mike shouted, storming off and into the bathroom where Ryan heard him lock the door.

Ryan was at a loss. He wasn’t quite sure what had just happened, beyond the obvious. When he had steeled himself to talk to Mike, he had been ready for an argument, a fistfight. He hadn’t been prepared for… _this_.

Ryan looked around helplessly, running a hand through his hair. He let out a heavy sigh before he went into the kitchen and started rummaging through the cabinets. After a few seconds, he pulled a half-empty bottle of vodka out from behind some boxes of cereal. He set the bottle on the counter and pulled open a different cabinet to grab a small glass, not even bothering to shut the cabinet as he filled the glass halfway with vodka. Ryan threw back the vodka in one gulp, taking a shaky breath and rubbing his eyes.

Ryan was fairly sure that the lesson in control had been lost on him.

The lesson in guilt was so familiar that Ryan didn’t even recognize it.


End file.
